I had a revelation tonight before going into work.
Everyday I do the exact same thing. Every week is exactly the same. I go to classes during the week, I kill time by watching far too much VH1 and on the weekends I usually frequent a bar or the TKE house. I have spent the last three and a half years living out this same routine and I have nothing to show for it except an education, and a few drunken stories.
I need a change. I went from leading a fairly boring life in high school, directly into a fairly boring life in college. Now don't get me wrong, I am glad that I went to college and it has been an experience to say the least. But I never really had a chance to be wreckless, make bad decisions, and just live life for the moment. Since high school, it's all been about the future, and all I have from that stressful way of thinking is an ulcer and a series of illnesses.
I need to get out of Iowa. Out of Minnesota. Go someplace where no one knows me. Be broke and live life in the moment. Experience things I have only seen in movies. I don't want to live a planned life where there are no suprises. At the rate I'm going, when I get out of school, I am going to get a job in a corporate office, live in a cubicle and continue the same boring, everyday routine. That is the LAST thing that I want.
I have always been afraid to try new things and go some place that is unfamiliar by myself. But I cannot imagine continuing to live a life that is planned out to a T. But then I think about my education. My dad has spent a pretty penny on my education, and the last thing I want to do is waste it. I have also never really been completely on my own. I have always had my parents right by my side to help me out in any situation.
Maybe getting out of my everyday and away from everyone that I know will help me break this cycle. Maybe I'll go to Amsterdam, LA, Australia, or New York.
I would love to travel around with a touring band. That would be the best escape.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
A Look Back
I found an old post of mine from my freshman year at Drake, and I thought it would be a good laugh to go through and comment on this post and see how things have changed.
A Year End Toast
since the end of my first year at college is at a close, I figured I would steal Skates' idea and recap all the craziness that insued.
This year I...
-learned that you can survive college by only going to your classes on a semi regular basis (still works)
-studying blows
-learned never to take a class with Goldford or Fuse (I have advised many to stay away and managed to never see them again)
-became a TKE girl
-spent the majority of the weekends at the TKE house (still do)
-learned that frat guys arent all dicks (except for Faulker) (a good portion of them are)
-learned that all sorority girls aren't all bitches (I wouldn't say bitches, but they are not my friends)
-took my first 3 shots of tequilla (I can't even count how much tequilla I've had since then)
-took care of a friend while she was praying to the porcelin gods (I had to do that again for the same friend a few months ago)
-spent many nights in the bathroom (never had to do that again because of alcohol)
-took care of another friend while she was praying to the porcelin gods
-learned to keep me awaky form the whiskey sours (haven't had one since)
-learned that a Jew can dance. They have their own dance...its called the Jew (I hardly ever dance anymore)
-learned the true value of rap and hip-hop (It's kinda lost its glory for me)
-perfected the art of dancing on a support beam (Damn I was a tramp!)
-woke up with many random bruises from the night before (Still happens)
-spent the night at the TKE house (It's happened a few times after that...but not many)
-got many FABULOUS lap dances
-smoked 15 cigarettes in one drinking night (Now I'm lucky if I smoke less than that a day)
-learned to make friends (no longer scared)
-danced on a fence
-dropped my cell phone in the toilet (Now I just break them the normal way. And Steph still won't let me live that incident down)
-danced on a radiator
-helped hold a guy on the pool table so multiple girls could assualt him (He is now in a commited relationship)
-watched porn with 3 girls on a saturday night
-watched porn with 2 of the TKE guys on different nights (We've had many porn and popcorn nights)
-went to a porn store with 2 guys and a girl (Now we stick to the Lumber Yard)
-walked girls around with a leash
-pulled a knife on a guy (And I'd do it again)
-learned the art of thefting (I had a klepto phase, but that is long gone)
-learned to love pussy beers (I can't stand them!)
-kissed a girl more than once (And proceeded to do it again)
-had a guy sleep in my bed 3 times (Wow. This was back in the day when I thought this was scandolous)
-learned that I love the smell of men's cologne (I still can't help but fall for a guy who's wearing Very Sexy For Him)
-got a free lunch (Still do)
-learned how to get a free drink (I still use this technique when I go to the bars)
-learned that trying to drink your worries away NEVER works (It has worked since)
-collected over 200 bottle caps (I ended up using them in a gift I made for my bf. We broke up and he still has it)
-went to dinner at 5pm religiously (I hardly call anything I eat a "meal" anymore. More just a series of snacks)
-cannot count how many times I have ordered chinese food
-made friends with the Jimmy Johns guy (He quit long ago)
-watched jackasses break down the Herriot door (And made it into the security reports)
-made friends with the girls downthe hall very late in the year (These girls no longer talk to me)
-have told my mother everything (still do)
-have had my mother tell me everything (still does)
-had more than one panic attack (I can't even count them anymore)
-swam in the reflecting pool in a thunderstorm (Hacen't topped that one, but damn that was a fun night!)
-had to take cover in the basement
-learned to hate fire alarms (let me sleep and burn!)
-learend to live off of subs, pizza and pasta (I still do, but I don't love it like I once did)
-cannot function before 9am
-learned to never have classes before 11am (Every class starts at 9am)
-learned that Dead Day is not actually for studying (hooray for sleeping in 'til 4pm) (Still true)
-tore into more than one teacher on their evaluations (I even got one of my professors fired)
-ate my fair share of Easy Mac and cereal (I haven't touched Easy Mac since my sophomore year)
-had sex on a noisey super-loft while a friend was sleeping below (that super lof was the greatest invention! Thanks Skates!)
-now have a greater appreciation for Disney movies
-tattooed myself at 2 in the morning (It has since vanished)
-had a picture of me making out with a girl posted on the internet (I still haven't found where it is. And keep in mind that this was BEFORE myspace and facebook...so it was kind of a big deal)
-corrupted an uber Catholic (She is now fully tattooed, a Suicide Girl and getting married in July)
-can now recite the entire script to the movie Snatch (I lost my copy and haven't watched it since)
-helped 3 guys smuggle a keg into the basement (That keg was later confiscated)
-exercised by walking to Kum and Go and Walgreens (I no longer walk, I drive my lazy ass there and back)
-took a friends car to Minnesota more than once (She dropped out and moved to Missouri. I haven't heard from her since)
-learned to LOATH the bus (I never rode the Greyhound again)
-leanred that Iowa isn't all that bad as long as I have my Skates and my TKE boys (Skates and I hardly ever talk anymore, and I have never hated Iowa more)
-learned how to get free cigarettes (Still do)
A Year End Toast
since the end of my first year at college is at a close, I figured I would steal Skates' idea and recap all the craziness that insued.
This year I...
-learned that you can survive college by only going to your classes on a semi regular basis (still works)
-studying blows
-learned never to take a class with Goldford or Fuse (I have advised many to stay away and managed to never see them again)
-became a TKE girl
-spent the majority of the weekends at the TKE house (still do)
-learned that frat guys arent all dicks (except for Faulker) (a good portion of them are)
-learned that all sorority girls aren't all bitches (I wouldn't say bitches, but they are not my friends)
-took my first 3 shots of tequilla (I can't even count how much tequilla I've had since then)
-took care of a friend while she was praying to the porcelin gods (I had to do that again for the same friend a few months ago)
-spent many nights in the bathroom (never had to do that again because of alcohol)
-took care of another friend while she was praying to the porcelin gods
-learned to keep me awaky form the whiskey sours (haven't had one since)
-learned that a Jew can dance. They have their own dance...its called the Jew (I hardly ever dance anymore)
-learned the true value of rap and hip-hop (It's kinda lost its glory for me)
-perfected the art of dancing on a support beam (Damn I was a tramp!)
-woke up with many random bruises from the night before (Still happens)
-spent the night at the TKE house (It's happened a few times after that...but not many)
-got many FABULOUS lap dances
-smoked 15 cigarettes in one drinking night (Now I'm lucky if I smoke less than that a day)
-learned to make friends (no longer scared)
-danced on a fence
-dropped my cell phone in the toilet (Now I just break them the normal way. And Steph still won't let me live that incident down)
-danced on a radiator
-helped hold a guy on the pool table so multiple girls could assualt him (He is now in a commited relationship)
-watched porn with 3 girls on a saturday night
-watched porn with 2 of the TKE guys on different nights (We've had many porn and popcorn nights)
-went to a porn store with 2 guys and a girl (Now we stick to the Lumber Yard)
-walked girls around with a leash
-pulled a knife on a guy (And I'd do it again)
-learned the art of thefting (I had a klepto phase, but that is long gone)
-learned to love pussy beers (I can't stand them!)
-kissed a girl more than once (And proceeded to do it again)
-had a guy sleep in my bed 3 times (Wow. This was back in the day when I thought this was scandolous)
-learned that I love the smell of men's cologne (I still can't help but fall for a guy who's wearing Very Sexy For Him)
-got a free lunch (Still do)
-learned how to get a free drink (I still use this technique when I go to the bars)
-learned that trying to drink your worries away NEVER works (It has worked since)
-collected over 200 bottle caps (I ended up using them in a gift I made for my bf. We broke up and he still has it)
-went to dinner at 5pm religiously (I hardly call anything I eat a "meal" anymore. More just a series of snacks)
-cannot count how many times I have ordered chinese food
-made friends with the Jimmy Johns guy (He quit long ago)
-watched jackasses break down the Herriot door (And made it into the security reports)
-made friends with the girls downthe hall very late in the year (These girls no longer talk to me)
-have told my mother everything (still do)
-have had my mother tell me everything (still does)
-had more than one panic attack (I can't even count them anymore)
-swam in the reflecting pool in a thunderstorm (Hacen't topped that one, but damn that was a fun night!)
-had to take cover in the basement
-learned to hate fire alarms (let me sleep and burn!)
-learend to live off of subs, pizza and pasta (I still do, but I don't love it like I once did)
-cannot function before 9am
-learned to never have classes before 11am (Every class starts at 9am)
-learned that Dead Day is not actually for studying (hooray for sleeping in 'til 4pm) (Still true)
-tore into more than one teacher on their evaluations (I even got one of my professors fired)
-ate my fair share of Easy Mac and cereal (I haven't touched Easy Mac since my sophomore year)
-had sex on a noisey super-loft while a friend was sleeping below (that super lof was the greatest invention! Thanks Skates!)
-now have a greater appreciation for Disney movies
-tattooed myself at 2 in the morning (It has since vanished)
-had a picture of me making out with a girl posted on the internet (I still haven't found where it is. And keep in mind that this was BEFORE myspace and facebook...so it was kind of a big deal)
-corrupted an uber Catholic (She is now fully tattooed, a Suicide Girl and getting married in July)
-can now recite the entire script to the movie Snatch (I lost my copy and haven't watched it since)
-helped 3 guys smuggle a keg into the basement (That keg was later confiscated)
-exercised by walking to Kum and Go and Walgreens (I no longer walk, I drive my lazy ass there and back)
-took a friends car to Minnesota more than once (She dropped out and moved to Missouri. I haven't heard from her since)
-learned to LOATH the bus (I never rode the Greyhound again)
-leanred that Iowa isn't all that bad as long as I have my Skates and my TKE boys (Skates and I hardly ever talk anymore, and I have never hated Iowa more)
-learned how to get free cigarettes (Still do)
Things That Piss Me Off
Boredom
Stupid Freshman
People who don't like Seinfeld
Iowa Drivers
Pens that don't work
Bad beer
Assholes
Ex-boyfriends
Grey areas
Pennies
Doing laundry
Doing dishes
Cleaning in general
Jobs
Whiners
People who don't stop talking
Paris Hilton
Britney Spears
Paying too much money for worthless classes
Professors who don't know what they're doing
Running out of staples
People who don't like/or know who Queen is
The uptight
The arrogant
JEL and *Truth commercials
Bad typography
Sororities
MTV
Getting woken up from a nap
Loud walkers
Sot talkers
Mumblers
Close talkers
Hat hair
Headaches
Bent push pins
Junk mail
Bikers who think they are in cars
Breaking nails
People who cough around smokers
Doing things in alphabetical order
People in general
Stupid Freshman
People who don't like Seinfeld
Iowa Drivers
Pens that don't work
Bad beer
Assholes
Ex-boyfriends
Grey areas
Pennies
Doing laundry
Doing dishes
Cleaning in general
Jobs
Whiners
People who don't stop talking
Paris Hilton
Britney Spears
Paying too much money for worthless classes
Professors who don't know what they're doing
Running out of staples
People who don't like/or know who Queen is
The uptight
The arrogant
JEL and *Truth commercials
Bad typography
Sororities
MTV
Getting woken up from a nap
Loud walkers
Sot talkers
Mumblers
Close talkers
Hat hair
Headaches
Bent push pins
Junk mail
Bikers who think they are in cars
Breaking nails
People who cough around smokers
Doing things in alphabetical order
People in general
Fuck. Piss. Shit. Bitch
I grew up in a fairly liberated home. Make that a very liberated home. My mother was the artist that marched to the beat of her own drum, and my dad was the dentist, the glue that fixed the "damage" my mother had done. My mother would teach us to think freely, to be ourselves, and my dad would make sure that we kept on track with school. I have an older sister, Abra, who is the typical black sheep of the family. She dropped out of several school and still to this day can't hold down a real job.
Abra was the one person that I wanted to hang out with the most in my childhood, even though I often had many dreams of a whale tearing her arm off. I wanted to be like her and have her friends. Needless to say, I was the typical, obnoxious little sister. Since I tried everything to be more like her, I ven picked up her habit of swearing like a sailor at the tender age of 10. A habit that she had initally learned from my parents and CD's before they had warning labels on them.
To this day I still have the mouth like a sailor and my parents still give me shit about it. I really don't see it as a problem these days, aside from when I end up saying "fuck" during an interview.
I am sure that when I was in fifth grade and telling people that "my sister was a bitch" and screaming at her in the grocery store to "fuck off", it probably didn't make my parents look so good, and probably gave the rich suburbanites a good shock.
Now the roles have reversed. When I was walking home after a class the other day, I saw a pack of fourth or fifth graders in the middle of the street attempting to start a fight with a friend. They were throwing off their coats, swinging their arms and telling the friend to "suck his cock" and telling the friend that refused to fight that they would "call him a bitch for the rest of the year."
Needless to say, I was shocked. But then I thought about my own sailor mouth and my upbringing. But then I also thought about the media today and how rarely they bleep out words in movies and TV shows. They have even let commercials get away with printing words like 'bitch" on VH1. Of course this change doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it actually makes me happier because networks are no longer sugar coating everything and catering to a younger audience than myself. But then I thought about the kids and how this will effect them.
Then I realized that I didn't care about the kids.
Abra was the one person that I wanted to hang out with the most in my childhood, even though I often had many dreams of a whale tearing her arm off. I wanted to be like her and have her friends. Needless to say, I was the typical, obnoxious little sister. Since I tried everything to be more like her, I ven picked up her habit of swearing like a sailor at the tender age of 10. A habit that she had initally learned from my parents and CD's before they had warning labels on them.
To this day I still have the mouth like a sailor and my parents still give me shit about it. I really don't see it as a problem these days, aside from when I end up saying "fuck" during an interview.
I am sure that when I was in fifth grade and telling people that "my sister was a bitch" and screaming at her in the grocery store to "fuck off", it probably didn't make my parents look so good, and probably gave the rich suburbanites a good shock.
Now the roles have reversed. When I was walking home after a class the other day, I saw a pack of fourth or fifth graders in the middle of the street attempting to start a fight with a friend. They were throwing off their coats, swinging their arms and telling the friend to "suck his cock" and telling the friend that refused to fight that they would "call him a bitch for the rest of the year."
Needless to say, I was shocked. But then I thought about my own sailor mouth and my upbringing. But then I also thought about the media today and how rarely they bleep out words in movies and TV shows. They have even let commercials get away with printing words like 'bitch" on VH1. Of course this change doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it actually makes me happier because networks are no longer sugar coating everything and catering to a younger audience than myself. But then I thought about the kids and how this will effect them.
Then I realized that I didn't care about the kids.
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